I was sitting at the computer on Sunday, trying to keep one eye on the Super Bowl while writing this column. Bad idea. The Steelers have been my team since the days of Franco Harris; the game easily won the battle for my attention. So I temporarily gave up trying to put my thoughts to paper.

Truth be told, in addition to the distraction of the game, the subject of this column was causing me some trepidation. I wanted to share some thoughts about diversity even though I am aware that while some embrace the conversation, others are uncomfortable, and some are just not interested. I’m not speaking of diversity as designated celebratory dates on the calendar, although I welcome those. I’m speaking of diversity grown up; diversity lived.

When I turned back to the computer, my thoughts kept drifting back to the game. My mind was replaying that critical last-minute Holmes catch, but I was also thinking in general terms about sports. They’re well-defined events set in specific categories, where the plan is to pit skilled competitors against each other for a limited time frame before declaring a winner. At the end of the game, the outcome is always either/or. Sunday night had to see either Pittsburgh or Arizona crowned as the winner; there’s no model for crowning both.

The one winner, either/or outcome is fitting for sports. But it just doesn’t work well for our daily interactions with people. We live with men and women of different heritages and ethnicities, who may speak different languages, represent different generations and ideologies, and present varying degrees of able-bodiedness, skills and abilities. People can’t (shouldn’t) be boxed into categories, and the objective of our encounters shouldn’t be either/or, win/lose. And we don’t have the option to engage for a bit, leave the field and go home.

There’s a book on my shelf called “Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts”. It is a tiny volume, meant to help teach the value of respectful communication in a diverse world. The author suggests that instead of considering thoughtful language as a burden of political correctness, we recast PC to indicate personally conscious communication. I believe it helps to think about our role in appreciating diversity as investing energy to become more personally conscious.

How might we accomplish that? The ODIS model taught in intercultural courses is a good place to begin. ODIS stands for observe, describe, interpret, and suspend judgment. When I present that model to my classes, I generally change the order for acting on those words, because if we don’t suspend judgment initially, we are probably not in a position to observe without bias. As we observe and then describe, that might modify our interpretation and temper our judgment.

A second path to becoming more personally conscious is to focus on listening to each other. Not just hear words, but truly listen. Most of us have been taught to inform and persuade, deliver with authority and establish credibility through our speaking. But many of us have not been taught how to listen, a skill that is surely as important as speaking if our intent is to learn.

Perhaps before we consider how we can encourage and support environments that welcome diversity, we need to think about if we should. I believe that we should. Why? Because to do so enriches us. Through those sometimes uncomfortable discussions about differences in worldview, in tentative lunchtime conversations that may open the door to new friendships, by leaving our comfort zone to participate in events that are new and different, we learn; and we are the richer for those engagements.

Unlike the Staples’ commercial, people don’t have an easy button. Embracing difference and welcoming diversity is tough; and we are encumbered by the ethnocentrism that is a part of every culture. That’s one of the reasons why the either/or perspective may feel comfortable. But it is not always healthy. It takes effort to release that ethnocentric tendency. Doing so doesn’t mean that we deny the fundamental values that are our center. It does mean that we can live and work alongside those who operate from a different frame of reference.

Our wide world and our local neighborhoods are diverse communities. We would do well to develop our understanding of and appreciation for difference. Diversity as a label is so broad that it is difficult to define. But I believe that, at the core, it confirms the intrinsic value in our uniqueness and exemplifies with/and rather than either/or.