I’m so lucky because each day I get at least three people wanting to put from $7 million to $500 million in my checking account. They all say the same thing — I am an honorable man, and they need to get the money out of their account.

All I need to do is just give them my saving account number. In return, they will only ask for half of their money back when they get here.

For the past two years, like clockwork, I get calls saying this is your last chance to get a warranty on your car for just $5,800. I was up to 40 of these calls per day.  You must laugh at this, or it will drive you to drink or go nuts.