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Keep on moving, don’t give up

Many years ago, I came home from work to an empty house exhausted and broken.  Two of my three children were away at college and the third was finishing her Master’s degree.  My personal life had hit a rough patch and being lonely was becoming the norm.

The upside of my life was an interior design career and good health. I even had a bit of extra change at the end of the month to help the children with their school expenses.  I was thankful for college loans, prayer, hard work, and grit.  They had gotten me through … until that day.

A large percentage of my work was helping home builders to maximize the beauty of their houses. If the house sold prior to construction I would meet with their buyers to walk them through the selection process for all the materials needed for the interior. I also worked on numerous model homes which I adored doing.

These contractors became my friends and they all knew I would do whatever it took to help them sell a home. I also knew loyalty was a big component of the construction business.

To my great surprise, I received a call from one of the largest homebuilders in the Atlanta area over 25 years ago. They wanted me to help them with the interiors of their homes scattered throughout north Atlanta.

For two years I worked hard, worked long hours and was always on call. I dared not complain. I knew to be grateful for the gift of their business … Until that day.

This prestigious company became responsible for half my income. It was nice to have some type of budget to live by.  It was nice to know that I was appreciated and valued … until that day.

On that day, this successful company failed to tell me they were opening their own in-house design studio with a salaried designer. They also failed to say goodbye or thank you or tell me how I was going to pay my bills!

“It was just business!” I heard someone say, “It was nothing you did.”

Oh, I understood their decision, but not the failure to let me know. On that day, I hated business.   

On that day I also sat on my sofa and wondered, “Why should I keep trying?  Why should I keep moving? If I choose to keep going then how?”

Children in college, bills to pay, groceries to buy, how was I going to find enough money to replace half my income in a month? It was that day that my life hit a wall that I couldn’t find a peep hole to see through.

Tears unabashedly fell onto the sofa. I tried to pray, but remembered thinking this whole mess was even too big for God to figure out. After all, I was just a lone person on a busy planet. God was dealing with many other issues that were far more important.

On that day, the only rescue was sleep.

The next morning, I woke with the assurance that something within me had changed. I dressed and drove to work knowing that on that day I, alone, would oversee the direction of my career.

I would leave the builders that I had grown to love and I would never again put my eggs in so small of a basket. The only loyalty that I expected was to come from me to any clients I might obtain.

Those clients came in droves. Overnight, my calendar began filling with private customers. Many of those clients would remain with me for 25 years.

I never advertised or missed paying a bill. Within a month of that fateful day, I had more money in my account and more peace in my soul.

In life, we all hit walls. We have days when we think, “What’s the use?”

We have times when we cannot figure out how we will survive or doubt what our purpose is. However, what we fail to understand is that someone else has already figured it out and knows where we are to go.

God picked me up off the sofa that day.  Sometime during the night, He whispered in my ear, “Lynn, just keep moving. I will guide you and give your legs the courage to walk.  Just keep moving.”

I realize now that God was taking me out of a place that was comfortable to place me in a new direction. He put me on a path that lead to a fulfilling career, retirement and, now, to writing this.

On that day this lone girl on this busy planet, found that if I just kept moving God would always guide me on the path to my purpose.

Never give up.

Lynn Walker Gendusa is a former resident and writer who currently resides in Roswell. She can be reached at lwgendusa@bellsouth.net