100 columns of laughter and sometimes telling the truth
Published 2:54 pm Friday, October 12, 2018
On Nov. 1, 2016, you and I reconvened right here in The LaGrange Daily News, for the second time. For many of you, we have been carrying on this way since August of 1997, despite taking a break sometime around 2011 for a while.
For some others, you climbed onboard at a depot along the way, and that’s OK, too, Some people say we never change, and — fact is — that may be the truest thing you read in today’s column.
I am very glad that some of you are reading your very first column. Now, that really is exciting. I should tell you, though: If this is your first time here, don’t get too discouraged. If you end you not particularly liking this column, don’t give up. The next one will be better, I’m sure of it. It’s got to be. And if it isn’t, you stay strong and keep coming back.
But we’ve enjoyed these years, laughing together, even sharing a little tear at times. I’m not saying I lose a tear myself — no, you read that wrong. Everyone who knows me knows that I tend to be an iron man and would never outright let a tear loose. Just ask those ol’ boys down at the Y where I used to play basketball. They’ll tell you. Just be sure to holler loudly when you talk to them, because they’re getting old. Ken Carter, Steve Sauter and Kirk Kilgore and a few of the others may not even remember how good or tough I thought I used to be. So, expect a little dipsy-doodle when you interview them. They’ve been dipsy-doodling down there for years now. So you’ll know, the reason I am being particularly nostalgic this week is because this column marks no. 100 since our comeback. You see, we may not be good at a lot of things, but we know how to make a comeback, and we know how to make it stick. I’m back to stay — at least, until somebody from the newspaper calls and tells me that I’m way behind times, that I need to cross over into this millennium with the rest of the world because I’m just not in sync with today’s youth.
As usual, though, we’re digressing. Why, we’ve talked about everything from being a legend down at the Y to flying cars. But the flying cars part is good, because it turns out somebody once told me they would not believe I once was a legend in these parts until they see cars fly.
Well, sister, you have about four years before you start believing. Then the next person says, “Ah, come on, now. Nobody ever said that to you about the flying cars” — which is true, but I am sure somebody thought it somewhere along the line. And if they thought it, then I’m allowed to use it here in the paper. That’s one of the first rules of journalism. If you don’t believe that, just write and ask our good editor Mr. Daniel Evans. He’ll tell you.
But, for the sake of all of our first-time readers, you have to remember that I was writing fake news a long time before fake news ever was invented. Just ask me about Doocy or the amazin’ blonde — I can tell you stories about any one of them that nobody would believe if they hadn’t read it right here in this column. And every one of those columns are almost always mostly true.
I guess it is appropriate that for column #100 that we are laughing together, because we’ve done this now for two decades. And, if the Lord be willing, we’ll do it for another two, at which time I’ll be a couple of years older than I am right now. And if you say, “Aw, come on, they won’t even have newspapers in 20 years, how are you going to be writing for one?”
But, friend, you have to think it through. If there are no newspapers in the world in 20 years, what are people going to do while they’re flying around in their cars?