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The irony of conspiracy theorists

Yes, QAnon has made the news, and “Q” has numerous acolytes running for the House of Representatives, and even the U.S. Senate. But after several years, Q has become a little stale, and even worse: mainstream.

It’s time you learn about the latest conspiracy theory “aRnot” and you’ll learn the truth about the worst scandals in American political history, which have happened right under your nose. But thanks to the Internet, and “R,” you’ll the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

First of all, aRnot discovered a shocking secret that could have changed the 2016 election. His sources have video footage of Hillary Clinton wearing white after Labor Day. Of course, nobody heard of “R,” so the truth never came out. The popular vote might have been changed!

Moving forward to 2020, “R” was able to get classified Internet emails from WackoLeaks which have uncovered a secret that every Democratic Party member will steadfastly deny: that Joe Biden is a Nickelback fan. WackoLeaks also has video footage of both Joe Biden and Barack Obama singing “Rock Star” and “Animals” at a Karaoke Bar. We will share it with you on social media, before Facebook and Twitter delete your account for reposting it.

For those who seem a little jaded by human trafficking reports and drinking the blood of youngsters for Satanic rituals, “R” has the fact that will make this all seem like child’s play, so to speak. He has undeniable proof that Vice-Presidential nominee Kamala Harris is responsible for all of those kids eating “Tide Pods.” After all, nobody was consuming washing machine detergent until she was elected to the U.S. Senate from California. Given that the Tide Corporation was allegedly a political backer, she concocted this horrible practice to boost sales.

And no, I swear that “R” does not stand for “Russia,” or “Robert Mueller” or even “Republican.” That’s just a coincidence! And remember, do exactly as I say, and think for yourselves. If you can’t find anything by “R” online, that’s just proof that powerful elites have taken down that material, and erased all evidence.

By now, you have probably concluded that I am joking. My apologies if you wasted an evening searching “bing.com” for more. But given the widespread popularity of QAnon and other wild conspiracy theories, I thought I would address these.

While in graduate school, I came across an article that observed “the absence of evidence is considered the confirmation of the conspiracy theory.” So, in other words, if you don’t have a shred of proof, then that means it’s 100% absolutely true!

On a more serious side, I attended a presentation in Savannah where the professor examined those people who were “truthers” (9/11 was an inside job by the Bush Administration) and “birthers” (Obama was born in Kenya, or was it Indonesia?). A percentage actually believed in both (theories, not birth countries for Obama)! This group scored by far the highest on a test for authoritarianism, not only backing a more dictatorial approach for their country, but also their family.

It seems that those believers are the most fearful of everything in life, trusting no one else, but ironically believing those who would trick them with just about any story, taking even more control away from them.