YARBROUGH COLUMN: Junior E. Lee talks politics and cow ticks

Published 10:30 am Tuesday, July 19, 2022

Well, this is interesting. Donald Trump and Joe Biden have something in common besides being a couple of old white guys. According to a New York Times/Siena College poll, a little less than half of the Republicans polled want Trump as their first choice in the 2024 primary should he make a run to retake the White House. Granted, the number is 49% but remember that Trump got 94% of all Republican votes in the 2020 election.

As for Joe Biden, the same poll found that some 64 percent of Democratic voters don’t want him to run for reelection. I am surprised the number was that low. Biden’s approval rating is the worst of any elected president at this point in his presidency since the end of World War II. Even worse than Jimmy Carter? That’s downright embarrassing.

To try and make sense of it all, I called Junior E. Lee, general manager of the Yarbrough Worldwide Media and Pest Control Company, located in Greater Garfield, Georgia. Junior not only knows his stuff when it comes to geopolitical matters like the impact of China’s debt assistance to Pakistan in today’s economic environment, he is also a certified pest control professional.

I bring this up to say that when you see Tucker Carlson on Fox and Rachal Maddow on MSNBC babbling on and on about politics, just remember that neither of them would know a sowbug (a small terrestrial crustaceans of the order Isopoda) from a sow (a fat female pig.) Junior not only knows politics, but he also knows the most effective means of eradicating millipedes. He is an invaluable member of my team.

Since it is almost time for the annual release of our own political survey, Round or Square Polls (“You give us the dough and we will cook the numbers.”) I wanted to see if Junior E. Lee had some information he might share with you after he has done an in-depth analysis of the New York Times/Siena College poll. I say this with all due respect to the New York Times and to Siena College but when your mascot is Baloo “Saint” Bernard (Siena’s, not the Times), it is hard to take them seriously.

I caught Junior out at Arveen Ridley’s place. He told me he was busy dealing with a Rhipicephalus issue. Actually, what he is doing is spraying for cow ticks but since he has become so well-known as a media analyst and a pest control professional, he likes to impress everybody with big words.

I asked him about the New York Times/Siena College results that show that less than half of the Republicans polled have Donald Trump as their first choice to run in 2024. Was he surprised?

Junior E. Lee reminded me that the number was 49% and that is as close to half as it is to less than half. It all depends how the media want to play around with the numbers. For example, he says don’t forget that you can drown in an average of 12 inches of water. I don’t know what one has to do with the other but it’s best not to argue with Junior when he is in the middle of a Rhipicephalus issue. He can be pretty crabby if he has inhaled a lot of malathion.

Junior’s biggest concern is that when Trump supporters see the results, they might march on Loudonville, New York, if they can find the place on the map. That is where Siena College is located. He thinks the protesters very well might storm the J. Spencer and Patricia Standish Library, occupy the Special Collections suite and threaten to hang Baloo “Saint” Bernard before the Gazpacho police can intervene. That is a frightening thought.

As for Joe Biden, Junior E. Lee expressed surprise that even 39 percent approve of his performance. He surmises they must be family members or White House staffers, who obviously don’t care that inflation is at a 40-year high. Junior says he doubts any of this bothers Biden. He sleeps most of the time.

With that, Junior said he needed to get back to the Rhipicephalus issue. When he is through spraying the cows at Arveen Ridley’s place, he tells me he is headed over to Aunt Flossie Felmer’s place. He seems to be going over there a lot lately. He says he is concerned about fire ants and wants to poke around in her drawers. I must remember to talk to him about that.