KNAPP COLUMN: A Holiday Proposal: Festivus in July!

Published 9:00 am Saturday, June 29, 2024

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When, in the course of human events, it becomes obvious to all that
the current American political system bears little if any resemblance
to the values put forward in the 13 colonies’ July 4, 1776 Declaration
of Independence, it’s time to consider doing away with “Independence
Day” as a positive commemoration.

But not, I hold, worthy of cancellation as a holiday altogether.

The Declaration still has some pretty good bones to base a holiday on,
and who doesn’t love a day off work for grilling out and playing with

Instead of celebrating the Big Lie that we live under a government
which exists to “secure” our rights to “life, liberty, and the pursuit
of happiness,” we’d do well to instead turn our attention to a
Festivus-style “airing of the grievances.”

The Declaration is chock-full of such grievances. It includes no fewer
than 27 of them, many at least as relevant to today’s “independent”
America as they were to Britain’s American colonies.

Let’s try just three of those grievances on for size.

“He [King George III] has endeavored to prevent the population of
these states; for that purpose obstructing the laws for naturalization
of foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations
hither …”

Sound familiar? No, America isn’t “full” — it enjoys a lower
population density than Manhattan-like urbs such as Afghanistan and
Yemen. Yet the US government has imposed a 100-mile wide
“constitution-free” zone along the borders to facilitate its
abuctions, cagings, and deportations of immigrants.

“He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of
officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.”

The federal government currently employs 2.95 million Americans —
half a million more than the entire population of the 13 colonies in
1776. Most of them, most of the time, are up to no good.

“He has kept among us, in times of peace, standing armies, without the
consent of our legislatures. He has affected to render the military
independent of and superior to the civil power.”

The last time the US was legally at war was 1945 … but for some
reason the US government keeps more than two million persons under
arms, scattered across more than 300 military bases domestically and
another thousand or more abroad. All at your expense, of course.

As to the “civil power,” politicians who don’t bow, scrape, and scurry
to shovel money and power at the armed forces on demand are rare as
hens teeth and ineffectual when they do turn up.

But wait — there’s more! Give the Declaration of Independence a read
sometime and ask yourself whether it’s really produced results
superior to the situations it decries.

Let’s move Festivus from December 23 to July 4, re-air the
Declaration’s grievances … and do something about them.